Rock the Vote, Don’t Rock the Vote, Baby

In the absence of questions, I’ve decided to start a little something new on Ask the Dungeon Master.  Instead of waiting for you to ask me questions, I’m going to select popular, Googled questions and provide you with my unsolicited responses.  This week, in the aftermath of a very divisive  election, I’m going to tackle the question:

Who should I vote for?

If the problem with this question isn’t immediately apparent to you, then you probably shouldn’t have voted.  Politics is one of those topics, like Religion, that I generally avoid because it’s hard to have a discussion about them without someone getting defensive, upset and completely irrational.  But when I’m blogging about it, I can choose to ignore everyone else.

There are essentially three types of people when it comes to voting:  The informed voters, the uninformed voters, and the people that don’t vote for various reasons.  When answering this question, I think it’s obvious who I’m talking to:  the uninformed voters.


From the Holistic Economy

The web is flooded with helpful tools and tips for these people; people that never pay attention to politics until a month before the election when the media floods our brains with idiotic smear campaigns and tries to shove the fear of God down our throats with excessive reporting on death and mayhem.  But fear not!  You don’t need to care about domestic and international affairs for 90% of the year.  All you need is to do is take this handy quiz!

The fact that the same person that just made some “Which Harry Potter character are you?” quiz, could also help decide who Americans vote for is nauseating.  It’s even more terrifying that some people actually view this is a valid method of candidate selection.

Fortunately though, most people don’t even need to go this far, because really, who cares about foreign affairs or education?  The only important issues are abortion, gay marriage and the unemployment rate.  Right?

I don’t mean to imply that gay rights and women’s rights aren’t hugely important, but I do mean to say that there are lots and lots of other important issues.  If you decided on a candidate based on your own pet causes or whatever happens to be trending on Twitter that month, you’re going to overlook a lot of important issues.  If you do this, chances are you’re going to end up dissatisfied with your candidate once you find out about all the other thing’s he or she is going to do to piss you off.

Uninformed voters don’t help anything.  The total number of voters isn’t important if 70% of the people voting have no idea what the hell they’re voting for.  So if you’re not sure who you should vote for next time around, ask yourself one more question:  Am I genuinely undecided, or do I have no clue what’s happening around me?   If the answer is the latter, do everyone a favor and abstain.  You’re not doing anything but reducing your own guilt and stroking your ego with a meaningless “I Voted” sticker.

As always, we need more questions! 

If you wish to submit a question to the Dungeon Master, please e-mail them todungeonmastermind@gmail.com, or you can Tweet me a question @AskthedDM. And make sure to review the disclaimer.

You can also see me in action in the webcomic, One Die Short.

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This entry was posted in Google Questions, Personal Advice, Politics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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