F#@& Your Self-Help Advice: On Motivation and Success

Today we take a look at something that the vast majority of humanity struggles with: getting motivated! Our reader writes:

Hey DM,

I’ve been having some issues lately.  I am creatively dead at the moment.  I’m trying to get two separate D&D games going, neither of which seem like they’ll happen.  I haven’t done any updates on my blog in a long while.  I don’t have the time or (creative) energy to make anything.  Or maybe I’m just lazy.  I dunno.  Thoughts?

As always I have numerous thoughts, none of which involve telling you what a lazy waste of space you are, or listing all of the reasons you won’t succeed because you’re not following the 7 rules that someone came up with to prove that they’re more successful than you.  Fuck self-help advice.

And now I will offer you some.

Getting Motivated!

Motivation is hard.  We’ve all been there: some great inspiring idea punches us in our face while we’re sitting in the car, cursing the inability of EVERYONE ELSE on the road to be as good a driver as we are.  We fidget impatiently, dreaming of the awesomeness we just thought up, until we finally get home, rush through the door, scatter our belongings across the floor like the bodies of our fallen enemies and then… mmm… potatoes.  Or puppies.   Whatever.  Distractions though.

Lots of them.



Why Are You So Distracted?

Are you distracted because you’re lazy?  Are you distracted because secretly you know your idea sucks?  Do your goals just seem unrealistic and unattainable?  Maybe you believe all of those things, or maybe you just have too many shiny objects in your house.  Either way, it doesn’t matter.

I am lazy.  I have unrealistic goals.  And I think most every idea I come up with is lame.  But I still do things.  Because I am motivated.

This is not the part of my blog where I unveil the deep secrets of the Universe. I have a very simple answer. I am motivated because I found passion.  I think that’s what asshats don’t understand that write articles like “500 Reasons You’re a Loser and Won’t Succeed at Life”.

A lack of success isn’t a result of bad networking, or not eating enough oatmeal, or waking up too late, or failing to chanting mantras in the mirror each morning about how clever you are.  You just haven’t found your passion.

Where is Your Passion?

“Mr. The DM!” you cry out in anger, “I have found my passion, you asshole!”

If that’s true, than here’s another possibility for you: you have surrounded yourself with so much energy sucking people and situations that you are left with no energy for yourself.  Energy is finite.  We understand this because we have science.  Strategies for motivation and success are NOT science, but energy is.  Thermodynamics.  Scienced!

It doesn’t matter how motivated you are if you spend all of your energy on other things and other people.  The only way you’ll get anywhere is if you cut it all loose.  Make passion a priority! Passion is like liquid Gamma Rays injected straight into your brain.  But in a good way, like in the Incredible Hulk.

You also might THINK you’ve found your passion.  You might love to write, or paint.  You might think film or writing code is the greatest thing ever.  But why?  Is it because you’ve found your deepest passion, or is it because you’re sure you’ve found a way to achieve immortal fame, or a shortcut to becoming a millionaire?

Then your TRUE passion is fame and fortune, so don’t confuse it with acting or the stock market.  Recognize your passion for what it is and use that to your advantage.  Hone in on your ACTUAL target.  Lying to yourself will get you precisely nothing.  Passion flows from self honesty, and passion births success. But what the hell is success!?

Success is…

I don’t fucking know!

Don’t ask anyone that question.  Success is individual.  Success can be making a billion dollars, or 7 babies.  Success can be writing 1,000 books that no one ever reads, or becoming the CEO of the next great tech company.  For most people success is about leaving a lasting impact.  It’s about being remembered.  Whether it’s being remembered for swinging naked on a wrecking ball or winning the Nobel Peace Prize, it’s all the same.

We’re terrified of dying, fading away into oblivion, and being forgotten.  So find your success wherever it is, and DON’T LET OTHER PEOPLE DEFINE IT FOR YOU.

Success can be friendship, family, love, birth, dogs, cooking, gardens, penguins, money, pie, video games, or beer.  But you’ll never find it if you’ve already convinced yourself someone else knows what it is.  Because guess what?  You ARE a beautiful and unique snowflake. (FUCK YOU TYLER DURDEN!)

And fuck success. 

If there’s one thing I’d like for you to take away from all of this rambling, it’s to stop reading other people’s advice on how to be successful and motivated.  Because in the end, only you know what you want, what you need, and what you’re lacking.  Only you can be honest with yourself.  You just have to decide to shut up and listen to yourself.  So fuck this blog, because in the immortal words of Socrates: “Nobody knows shit.”  Socratized!

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